Your child came home feeling all down in the dumps because he didn’t make it to the cut-off of the basketball team. On the same day, he failed the Math quiz despite the effort he has put into studying. When you asked him how his day was, he told you he’s tired and that he has no energy left to do homework. He is disappointed about not making it to the team and not getting a good score on the quiz. Such feelings have pushed him to his limits. As a parent, all we want is for them to know that everything is going to be alright. But how do you do it?
How do you do it? Here are some tips you can try:
Remember that when your child is dealing with a disappointment, whether it is because of school work or something caused by playing with other kids, it is not your role to take them out of it. Instead, it is your responsibility to help them go through it and overcome it on their own. The support that you provide will help them get through it.
There is a thin line between showing them sympathy and empathy. Sympathy is when you want to show them that you feel the way they feel and you want them to get out of it. On the other hand, showing empathy means showing the kids that you understand how they feel and discuss with them how they could deal with the emotion. Encourage them to communicate how they feel. Letting them know that you are there to make them feel that half of their problem is solved.
When you are dealing with a disappointed child, that’s the best time to show them how much you appreciate them. A simple touch or a pat on the back could make them feel good in an instant. A tight hug or maybe a good meal could ease their worries and lift their spirits. The most important thing is that you make them feel that they’ve got them.
Parents always try their best to save their kids from such pitfalls. They are too afraid that when their kids get disappointed, they lose all hope of ever trying again. But did you know that these little disappointments that they have may do them better than you think? Instead of steering them away from their frustrations, it is best to help them deal with it. Doing so will help children become calmer and happier. The feeling of being resolved will teach them the value of hard work.